Trust, Confidences, Betrayal

You've been betrayed..........ok......it hurts sure......you don't understand why it happened........you are blindsided and crushed.
Now you need to chose your next step wisely and carefully!
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(the excerpts below is taken from http://www.snzeport.com/dlarticles2/betrayal.htm)

Getting Over Betrayal
To be able to get over betrayal successfully, you first need to understand the mechanics of betrayal, very briefly...

Meaning of Betrayal - Betrayal of Trust
Betrayal is deception in action. It is the breaking of a trust or promise real or implied or a social contract between two parties. Though the word betrayal is more popularly used in the context of 'betraying one's country or government' ie. leaking important state secrets, documents or plans, or acting as a spy, or leaking any information that one has been entrusted to protect by his/her partners. In more intimate or personal relationship terms, betrayal can take several forms, for instance:

Betrayal between friends
Two very close friends share all kinds of secrets and intimate details, thinking their secrets will be safe with each other. Then one of them secretly unknown to his/her friend, starts 'spilling the beans' or revealing the secrets to the 'enemies' or people who were not supposed to learn of this information.


Effects of Betrayal
effects of betrayal can be many depending on the situation:

It could cause harm to the assets/ interests of the country or the institution betrayed.

It could be a breakdown of friend ship / development of enmity .

It could cause harm/ even danger to the person betrayed by putting sensitive information in the wrong hands.

It could result in a break up, even divorce of relationship or marriage.

Getting over Betrayal in Relationships:
Getting over betrayal and loss of trust in relationships can be hard, but is not impossible. Though it does require strong commitment / desire to get out of the trauma of betrayal and move on positively with your life.

the first questions you need to answer are:

Do You want to patch up the relationship?

Or do you want to exit the relationship and move on with your life?

Of course the decision you make depends on how much pain and trauma the betrayal has caused you. Is the relationship even worth repairing or not?

If you opt for repairing and rebuilding the relationship, how can you be sure that the betrayal will not be repeated or will not happen again -- This option requires a strong commitment from your partner as well -- mere promises may not work to deter a person who has betrayed you once. Then of course you will have to forgive your partner and rebuild trust in the relationship. Will you be able to do that?

While the decision to move on will entail the making of several positive changes in your life. At the least, it may involve the change in your own personal beliefs and attitudes. Or if it is more intense, it may even require making changes in your residence (say if you are moving out); it may involve change of jobs; change in financial situations and obligations and more.

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Betrayal is a terrible thing to have done to you...and even worse to do to someone else.