BITING THE HELPING HAND

There is something that I've seen in the polygamy community that greatly
disturbs me. It is the act I'll call "biting the helping hand".

First let me define something.......

According to Webster's:

Initiative is as an introductory step, energy or aptitude displayed in
initiation of action or at one's own discretion: independently of outside
influence or control.

There are two major kinds of initiative.

One is the person who has the ability or sensitivity to pick up on clues or
hints from others who have seen a need.
They will hear about a need or a comment, heed it, and go and solve the
problem. Even if they themselves never had the problem, someone did, and
they took the hint and filled that need.

The second is the "self-starter." This is the person who sees a need first
and then takes it as his mission to solve it "independently of outside
influence or control".

Our country was founded on initiative! The first settlers, the Revolutionary
warriors, the signers of the Declaration of Independence, the framers of
the Constitution! These are all folks that saw and filled needs. Can you
imagine where we all would be had they not "stepped up" ?

We are all wired differently. Some are leaders and some are more comfortable
as followers or letting others lead.

Some are the kind who don't wanna lead and don't wanna follow.......which
brings me back to the point of this post.

There is a man who saw the need for a "spokesperson" for the entire polygamy
community....one who is able to break past any stereotypes or preconceived
ideas of what and who polygamists are. This man is the National Polygamy
Advocate.


This man did not step up in order to tell people what they wanted to hear...to think he did is silly.

This is the person who sees a need first and then takes it as his mission to solve it "independently of outside influence or control".

He showed Christians that anti-polygamy is unbiblical with Christian polygamy. (yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)

He showed conservatives that anti-polygamy is anti limited government with the polygamy rights win-win solution. (yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)


He showed marriage relationship advocates that they could accept legitimate polygamy
because of love-not-force. (yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)


He showed anti-Mormon Americans that they can see polygamy as not connected
always to Mormonism. By getting anti-Mormons to judge polygamy based on
itself without any connection to Mormonism, he broke their mental barrier to
re-consider polygamy rights. That doesn't make him anti-Mormon, it just
means he has the right message to persuade anti-Mormons that they can accept
polygamy by not connecting it to what they as anti-Mormons don't like about
Mormonism.
(yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)

He showed feminists and egalitarians that they can see polygamy as a
positive woman's choice. By getting such women supporters to judge polygamy
as something that could help single moms and working women, he broke their
mental barrier to reconsider polygamy rights. That doesn't make him a
feminist or egalitarian, it just means he has the right message to persuade
feminists and egalitarians that they can accept polygamy by not seeing it as
if it benefits men but instead seeing it as benefiting women.
He has been able to persuade people to re-think their anti-polygamy
positions. (yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)


Anyone who is pro-polygamy benefits from his successes in
persuading anti-polygamists. (yet some polygamists bite the helping hand)


It doesn't matter what kind of polygamy supporter you are. He is a "self
starter" whose work has never stopped helping the polygamists! Bite marks and all.
If you're a Christian, Mormon, Muslim, Jewish, secular, whatever else.... If you support healthy good polygamy, the work of the National Polygamy Advocate is a helping hand!

To attack him is to "bite the helping hand."

I have seen people attack him... Yet I have never seen him attack anyone, not even those who attack him. That says alot.

It makes me think of how many hand biters there must have always been...The first settlers, the Revolutionary warriors, the signers of the Declaration of Independence, the framers of the Constitution - all probably had hand biters attacking them...but does history speak of them ? Not that I remember from my school days.

So, seriously.......I think it is time for all to smarten up and check ourselves !
We can either be hand biters or helping hands. Does it really make good logic to bash the self-starter? To bash one who saw the need and took the initative?

We have someone who has stood up and is now recognized in the media.

Helping the National Polygamy Advocate, is helping ourselves. He has taken
the initiative, and now so can we can.

Instead of "biting the helping hand," isn't it time we helped instead.... Because it helps ourselves.

Stop "biting the helping hand".

What is this world coming to ? LOL

I'm a big fan of the TV real estate shows like Property Virgins, My First Home, etc. Maybe I wasn't watching before with full attention but lately I've noticed something that makes me roll my eyes and sigh.

John and Jane are currently own a 2 bedroom 1 bath apartment and due to Jane being pregnant they need to find a bigger house. They are approved for $350,000.00 and have a down payment of $5,000 for a total of $355,000 to play with. John is a teacher and Jane works part time until the baby comes.

NOW.....here is the first problem for me......no way in heck can they afford the mortgage that a $355,000 house would have ! Not on a teacher's salary and a part-time job that Jane will be quitting! I hear this young couple say "the mortgage broker says we can afford it, and he does this for a living, so he must know." .....AARRRGGGGHHHHHHHHH ! Seriously ! No wonder the economy went into the toilet ! I often scream at the TV "The guy is looking for a commission ! He doesn't give a fig about you ! He is clueless what you can afford !"....but they never listen lol.

The second problem is that....and this might be a generational thing.......why do you need more bedrooms and baths than there are people in the house ?! Honestly, one couple and one baby can easily live in a 2 bedroom/1 bath house ! Heck, many of us grew up 2 or 3 kids to a room ! Over and over the shows show a 3 person family saying they need "more room" and look for 4-5 bedroom/ 2-3 bath homes ! Really !

Is it a sign of this generation ? How did they get this way ? Why can't someone snap them into reality ? LOL

I'd stop watching but I love seeing the houses...........
Guess I'm a glutton for punishment ;-)

Happy Happy Happy

Yes, I'm happy and no I'm not drugged. Happiness for the most part is a choice and for now I CHOSE to be happy. Is my life perfect ? Nope. Do I have reasons to not be happy ? Yup. But those things are BMC (beyond-my-control) so why allow it to dictate my mood :-)

I love this prayer - it hangs on my office wall:

Oh Lord - Grant Me Calmness

O Lord, grant that nothing upsets me today as I walk through the pathway of my life.
Let not any hurtful words or actions of others shake my resolve to stay calm and even-tempered.
Help me guard the citadel of my emotions from all intruding disturbances.
Let me avoid at all costs any harmful rebuttals to those who would upset me.
Instead, help me respond with love and kindness, even when I am wronged.

Grant peace to my heart so that I may view all stressful situations with a calm detachment and total control of my emotions.
Help me focus on the example of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ who taught us to love one another, to turn the other cheek to our persecutors and who asked for forgiveness for His executioners.

Oh Lord, help me bring love and not hate, light and not darkness, friendship and not enmity, hope and not despair to all those I encounter in this exciting day that lies ahead.
Fill me with wisdom to understand and accept these principles so that my life can serve as a testimony to Your Truth.

Halleluyah !